My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
