none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
nutella sex= disaster
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize