if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
