i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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