My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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