"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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