Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
