fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize