Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
