I cockslap morals
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
