I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize