Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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