The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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