All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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