I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize