So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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