i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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