Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it because I queefed?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize