We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
