I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
