ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
wow bdsm is so cute
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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