shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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