He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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