I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
