Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Buhtt sex?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
