escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Found the puke drawer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
