yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
