so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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