The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
