How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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