i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
