He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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