alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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