What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize