Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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