i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
