He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
