Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
