no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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