I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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