Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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