you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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