Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
