dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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