I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
