don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she peed on how many people?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
