you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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