oh god the rape fog is back!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
do herpes really smell.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
