he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
