i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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