I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
