alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
