I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
