Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
