why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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