theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize