do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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