Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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