I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
