i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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