its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
