Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And my parents said I crawled through the house
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
