Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
