guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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