I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
