he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
