Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize