Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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