i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
