I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
