What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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