we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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