i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
