dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
