u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize