i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
